This is a Generic Blog Post

20 Sep 2008

Author: Jim | Filed under: Observations

Let’s start with a little introduction. Usually, bloggers like to use the first paragraph to say something personal to their readers. This can be anything from disclaiming a sponsored post, to talking about how they promise not to post anymore “fluff” on their websites. Usually, neither fact is true, and the first paragraph becomes some of the fluffiest fluff you’ve ever come across.

Maybe in paragraph two it will get a little more exciting? Nope, probably not. Most of the blog posts we find nowadays have two paragraphs that will be used to lead into the main point. It’s pretty effective to build into an argument like this… but many people actually abuse this area with a plug for a product they want you to buy to make them rich, or maybe a link to another post they made that they want you to comment on. Let’s add an emoticon for style points.

Introducing Something You Already Know About!
hmm… maybe that’s not really big enough…

Introducing Something You Already Know About!

…yeah, that’s much better.

I’m going to use this first “real” paragraph to talk about how smart and revolutionary this post really is. More than likely, I am reiterating something that you already know. But still, I’m going to act like I am helping you out big time. I’ve got a secret that nobody else knows, and you should be happy that I am telling you.

This Will Help You – Look At How Smart I Am!
Now is where the “point” is really driven home. Usually, when people run out of ideas for blog posts… they feel like they NEED to post something. What it turns out to be is a lame list of things you can do to improve your life, a generic message on how to boost your traffic or perhaps some kind of weak “lesson” that really doesn’t tell you anything. The image next to this paragraph will somehow validate my smartness.

By this point, if it’s not something obvious like “Comment on other blogs to boost your traffic!” or “Make Money By Getting Referral Commission!“… it’s going to be a list of things that you’ve already heard about. Need an example? How about “Top Five Ice Cream Flavors” or “The Best Ways to Gain Web Traffic.” At any rate, 90% of blogs will now post a useless list here:

Product I am Promoting, or Top Method
People are sneaky, so in many cases people take advantage of the #1 slot to push a product or website that really isn’t the best… but they want you to buy. If it isn’t a product, then they probably have an obvious #1 technique like “post quality material” in the number one slot.
The Opposite of Number One
Pretty self explanatory, if they didn’t take the front spot to push a product… it’s usually going to happen in number two. If they did, than #2 will contain the real “top method” to use.
Bland Technique You Already Know
Usually, the only thing in a list that is actually worth your while is #1 or #2. Because of this, people feel found to list at least a top five… so #3 will be something that “works,” just very poorly. This is probably a waste of time.
You Have to Work Hard To Succeed!
No kidding!? The fourth item on most lists will be something that is really quite obvious. In most cases, people will talk about “working hard,” “posting more often” or “marketing your idea.” At any rate, it’s something to which your real response should be “duh!” if anything else. Things are clearly going downhill.
Concluding Point? Irrelevant Point?
If the author is smart, they will use #5 to wrap-up their point or add in a concluding statement. Otherwise, we find a lot of irrelevant and completely off-base number fives. This could be something like “you can make more money by selling girl scout cookies.” Basically, look out for points that sound good, but actually don’t even fit in the list in the first place.

I just wasted your time. Now I’ll slip in a cunning paragraph at the end of the list to try and drive my generic post home. Here is where I am going to convince you that I just made a good post. Now, this is probably not true… because more than likely I just said something along the lines of “take a break if you can’t think of anything to write.” Again, the message is pretty lame by this point.

Conclusion
Please, please, please buy my product. If I haven’t convinced you to either buy into my idea or website here… then I am probably rounding out an annoying post about how to tie your shoes “more effectively.” Most writers will use the conclusion as a way to boost their word count and look like they honestly put a lot of thought and effort into the topic. Others will try to make the final sell here. If you are a generic post writer, don’t take this post the wrong way… we’ve all been there. Maybe next time you just hold off on posting until you think of something more useful before you make us read through it, eh? Insert another smiley here to round things out on a good note.