JohnCow.com Spoof | Using Trafficking to Boost Popularity, John Cow TV Episode 5

19 Nov 2008

JohnCow.com Spoof – Using Trafficking to Boost Popularity, John Cow TV Episode 5

Author: Jim | Filed under: Spoof Blogging

Well it’s been a few months since our beloved COW was stolen from us, and our kidnappers continue to throw more and more threats our way… this really isn’t a fun time. I’m not exactly sure why we haven’t posted an episode of John Cow TV in so long, clearly we just don’t care what happens to the cow that Audrey routinely cries herself to sleep about. Oh well.

We’ve had a new addition into the prize pool for the COWnapping Mystery. Hopefully, you’ve been collecting those useless clues in our videos diligently… wasting any fraction of time that you once had.

This week’s prize added is a ten-minute blog consultation from Jason K. himself. This is an invaluable teaching tutorial where I tell you how much better I am at sports than you, and how I can bench 350 pounds. This is worth an estimated $4,000 in value!

Episode 5: In this week’s episode, I am going to bring you through a method that I use to generate a lot of more targeted traffic to my blogs and websites. The technique I use is a subset of what I like to call “trafficking,” and it is honestly the smartest thing I have ever done. Period.

Don’t believe me? Look at my RSS subscriber count. That should validate in my mind how awesome I am your mind how much this actually works. I’ve made a clever acronym that I like to use to remember things, targeting my traffic as much as possible to get the most revenue and the most traffic.

The Method of Gods – D.R.U.G. Trafficking

One method that I have developed over the years is a more specific targeted approach to getting your articles a bit more popular on the net. I call it “D.R.U.G. Trafficking” because of the acronym I have made for it.

D on’t
R ead
U seless
G arbage

It’s highly important that you only target articles that you feel can be well marketed to the social media crew. This means, that when you are using Digg, StumbleUpon, Reddit, Del.icio.us, etc… you need to aim your work at articles that will give you more of the upside from hitting it off. We always want to limit downside as much as possible in this business and maximize our upside, so be sure to use DRUG trafficking to increase your profits and your popularity.

So what am I saying right now? Not a whole lot. But heck, most of my posts don’t… so you are probably used to that by now. Maybe in the near future I will develop another scientific breakthrough like this technique to share with you.

Today’s Clue & Episode

Let’s hop right into it with this week’s clue and, of course, the episode. Remember to look out for the cow prints in order to pick up on all of the clues that we have available for you to figure out!

Clue #3: The COW was _ _ _ _ _ _ on the _ _ _ _ with _ _ _ _ _ on _ _ _ _.

Remember, if you share this clue with anyone…
…I will come to your house… and slap you.

Disclaimer: This is a spoof post and is not intended to be taken seriously in any way. John Cow (and his wife Audrey) are good friends and bloggers at JohnCow.com.