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Archive for the ‘Spoof Blogging’ Category

Haha, okay so I didn’t realize this… but I published this post as a blank post earlier in the day and some readers found it live! Let’s scrap that, and get into the review.

One of my blogging buddies Kris Trujillo from CashTactics.net engaged in a contest over the second half of January. The game? Get more RSS subscribers than the other website in 15 days. Well as it so happens, I won the competition with an increase of 49 against Kris’ measly increase of 64. Pssh… what a terrible showing Kris!

What’s This About Cash Tactics?

Even though I obviously beat the pants off of Kris, I have decided to throw him a review as a sympathy prize for the competition that he had no chance of winning in the first place. Cash Tactics is one of my favorite blogs on the internet, because it actually offers real information. I know that people throw this around a lot… everyone claiming “no fluff.” However, instead of claiming this, CashTactics.net comes up and provides useful information over and over again.

There really aren’t a lot of internet marketing blogs that I can go to and learn a new trick every week again , and one of the few exceptions is Kris’ fantastic blog over at CT. One of his more popular series was a 6-part + recap case study series that basically takes readers from square one to PPC (pay per click) marketing domination. These are tutorials that really got me excited about marketing, and have fueled a lot of profits for many people. If you are interested in the internet marketing aspect of making money (more risky than other forms, but more rewarding)… check out his stuff!

So who is this guy anyway?

I know what you are thinking… who is this jerk Kris that comes up, loses a contest by over 200 subscribers, and then forces me to write about him? Well, to be fair he is very very persuasive. In fact, I was doing some research on his website and started thinking about who exactly he is. Kris Trujillo? Sounds like some kind of cross between Pepperjam Network CEO Kris Jones and Metallica Bass Guitarist Rob Trujillo. That’s one heck of a combo, eh?

After laying down some tasty riffs on his bass gutar, Kris likes to hop into a business suit and start making cold calls to clients in Germany and New Zealand, arranging for some marketing conventions before hitting the road on the Metallica tour bus to their next concert destination. The man obviously doesn’t live the glamour life.

Better than Sliced Bread? No Way Jose!

I have subscribed to Kris’ blog in every way imaginable, and definitely think that all of the content is as high-quality as it gets… but better than sliced bread Kris? Get outta here. Recently, Kris and I were talking about sandwiches and what you can put inside of them. Then, I started talking about how I was going to “brb” because I was making one for myself. This guy comes out and says: “I am better than sliced bread.” What hubris!

Better than sliced bread Kris? Your blog may be filled with tasty tidbits of search engine marketing, lead generation and email marketing… but you are in no way better than a fresh loaf of Wonderbread. And sure, you own a lot of real estate through your web activity. From a PPC search engine to a drop-shipping service, he practically controls the internet. But again… do you own a bread slicer? The answer is: probably. But there is a chance that you don’t. So, I am going to go ahead and establish that Cash Tactics might be a great looking website… but it is no sliced bread!

Bottom Line: In all seriousness, Kris Trujillo is a fantastic marketer with irrefutable information that will help you make money if you pay attention to his tips. And yes, clearly I concede that he did take victory in January. This is a blog that I read personally, and this post was completely unpaid… I would have been happy to recommend him regardless. So check it out!

-Jimvesting

I had a pretty interesting weekend over these past few days. After cashing a few of my latest internet marketing checks off at the bank, I had to sell my old Hummer and get a used Hummer H2 model to save some fuel. I really racked up a lot of costs over the past few years in the economic boom time, from a sweet outdoor pool to my old gas guzzler. Before that even happened, I got a call from MTV… they wanted to interview me on “MTV Cribs” this week!

My New (Used) Hummer H2

The newer Hummer H2 was noticeably bigger than the used model I picked up from Craigslist. The seller, “tnetfool” told me that he had only driven the car once, and it was fresh off the Hummer lot. Because I am broke after the recent market crash (I had everything invested in Lehman Brothers), I really didn’t have a choice but to hand over the keys to my old ride and step into the luxurious used H2.

It’s going to be a tough year ahead financially… I’m just glad that I can still ride in style down main street, picking up girls in the “ShoeMobile” as I like to call it. The transaction went pretty smooth; so while I was hesitant to buy a car using Craigslist… everything turned out for the best.

ShoeMoney on MTV Cribs!

This is pretty exciting news, as I definitely wasn’t expecting to be featured on MTV any time soon. Moreover, I feel like most of their other celebrities were dead broke after the recent market collapse. Unfortunately for them, I’m pretty darn poor now myself. Regardless, here’s the call transcript when I first heard the good news.

MTV: Hello is this Jeremy Schoemaker?
Me: Yes, Can I ask who’s calling?
MTV: This is MTV, with MTV Cribs.. how are you today?
Me: Oh great, great… I’m doing well, and you?
MTV: Fine. I wanted to know if you can guest start on MTV Cribs this weekend?
Me: Hmm… that’s going to be awful tough to fit in between the two one-paragraph blog posts that I promised myself I would write over the next couple of days.
MTV: I understand that you are busy, but we are prepared to offer you $600k to do the show.
Me: Cool! That’s almost as much as I make in a day online!
MTV: … I’ll take that as a yes?
Me: As long as I don’t have to dress up in normal-people clothes… fine by me.
MTV: Thank you Jeremy, we’ll be there at 6pm for shooting.

Sounds like a good time, right? Well as it turns out, MTV has been cutting their staffing budgets and camera technology as well… so the show really isn’t as good as it used to be. In fact, they made me film it myself… which was pretty difficult to pull off. At any rate, it turned out pretty well and i got to showcase all of my neat ShoeMoney gear to the world. Check it out and leave a comment!

Disclaimer: Jeremy Schoemaker is a great blogger and one of the most successful online entrepreneurs of his time. He blogs (as if you didn’t know) at ShoeMoney.com.

Keeping with the theme, I feel like a lot of you want to know exactly what I am doing at all times. Despite the fact that I haven’t posted anything useful in a few months, I know deep down inside that you would rather watch me walk through the park then talk about making money on the internet.

Last night, I had the best dinner. Me and a few of my friends hit the town and we had a nice big meal in one of my favorite hot spots. It was definitely a nice break from my hectic life… waking up at the crack of noon to check my stats before taking a nap and going for a walk… and I feel like I have definitely earned it. Here’s a quick shot at the awesome meal we had!

A Quick Paid Review!

Before I go any further, I am going to do a quick sponsored review. Have you ever been sitting at your desk and thought, man, I could really go for a bobble head right about now. I mean, why would you ever want to sit down without a friendly face staring back at you, right? I recently came across a great store on the internet where you can get all of your bobble heads in one place.

BobbleHeadStore.net is a great website that allows you to get a nice bobble head for every room of the house. I just custom ordered 10 bobble heads of John Chow, yes, that is myself, and I can’t wait for them to get here so that I can stare at myself all day.

Viral Video – Can I Do It? Yes I Can!

One thing that I have been very interested in recently has been the concept of viral marketing. After realizing that I have nothing better to do, I decided that today should be the day that I finally make one and see if I can pull it off.

Because I am so great, I didn’t even have to do anything and the video received 1,000 views within a day. How great am I, eh? If you want to see the video, I’ve included it below… so be sure to check it out!

A Day in the Life of John Chow

I know how much you guys like my videos, so I decided to do one of me getting up in the morning just to show you guys how my life goes along. Everyone has their daily routines, so I feel like it would be cool to show all of you how I am a totally normal person when it gets down to it. We all have to struggle every morning to yell down to the butler to make us breakfast. And don’t you hate it when the temperature in your swimming pool is just a tad too hot?

I want to show you the basics here, so I just filmed a quick two minute clip of me fixing my own breakfast… something I honestly haven’t done myself in a long long time. Let me know if you like it, and I’ll be sure to further inflate my ego by making a few more of them. Chow!

Original John Chow Viral Video >>

Disclaimer: This is a spoof post and is not intended to be taken seriously in any way. John Chow is a great guy that has been quite successful, JohnChow.com.

Well it’s been a few months since our beloved COW was stolen from us, and our kidnappers continue to throw more and more threats our way… this really isn’t a fun time. I’m not exactly sure why we haven’t posted an episode of John Cow TV in so long, clearly we just don’t care what happens to the cow that Audrey routinely cries herself to sleep about. Oh well.

We’ve had a new addition into the prize pool for the COWnapping Mystery. Hopefully, you’ve been collecting those useless clues in our videos diligently… wasting any fraction of time that you once had.

  • This week’s prize added is a ten-minute blog consultation from Jason K. himself. This is an invaluable teaching tutorial where I tell you how much better I am at sports than you, and how I can bench 350 pounds. This is worth an estimated $4,000 in value!

Episode 5: In this week’s episode, I am going to bring you through a method that I use to generate a lot of more targeted traffic to my blogs and websites. The technique I use is a subset of what I like to call “trafficking,” and it is honestly the smartest thing I have ever done. Period.

Don’t believe me? Look at my RSS subscriber count. That should validate in my mind how awesome I am your mind how much this actually works. I’ve made a clever acronym that I like to use to remember things, targeting my traffic as much as possible to get the most revenue and the most traffic.

The Method of Gods – D.R.U.G. Trafficking

One method that I have developed over the years is a more specific targeted approach to getting your articles a bit more popular on the net. I call it “D.R.U.G. Trafficking” because of the acronym I have made for it.

D on’t
R
ead
U
seless
G
arbage

It’s highly important that you only target articles that you feel can be well marketed to the social media crew. This means, that when you are using Digg, StumbleUpon, Reddit, Del.icio.us, etc… you need to aim your work at articles that will give you more of the upside from hitting it off. We always want to limit downside as much as possible in this business and maximize our upside, so be sure to use DRUG trafficking to increase your profits and your popularity.

So what am I saying right now? Not a whole lot. But heck, most of my posts don’t… so you are probably used to that by now. Maybe in the near future I will develop another scientific breakthrough like this technique to share with you.

Today’s Clue & Episode

Let’s hop right into it with this week’s clue and, of course, the episode. Remember to look out for the cow prints in order to pick up on all of the clues that we have available for you to figure out!

Clue #3: The COW was  _ _ _ _ _ _ on the _ _ _ _ with _ _ _ _ _  on _ _ _ _.

Remember, if you share this clue with anyone
…I will come to your house… and slap you.

Disclaimer: This is a spoof post and is not intended to be taken seriously in any way. John Cow (and his wife Audrey) are good friends and bloggers at JohnCow.com.

The following is a paid review and is completely of my own opinion and is not influenced by being paid. If you’re interested in having me review your site or product, please view my advertising page.

We’ve got a lot to talk about today, so let’s get started. I know that you guys like all of the contests that I run here at the Cruz’,  so get pumped because we are continuing on with some more fun ways for you to turn your spare time marketing into prizes and cash! In addition, I’m proud to announce that I have passed the 50 RSS SUBSCRIBER mark, so I got myself a little treat for all of my efforts. Let’s face it, I deserve it. :razz:

Affiliate Marketing Challenge 22

After the success of the 21st “Affiliate Marketing Challenge” brought to you by Market Leverage, we’ve teamed up once again to bring you the Affiliate Marketing Challenge 22 here at TylerCruz.com! There is over $1,213,000 worth of prizes up for grabs, including a two-ton shipment of crude oil, the 344-foot Sea Dream luxury yacht, a 300GB iPod Touch and a fully-trained helper monkey to name just a few.

How To Enter

You know the drill by now… but in case you don’t, there are two different ways to participate in the competition. You may choose either method, or do both. However, the best prizes are only available in the “Earn the Most” methods.

“Earn The Most” Prizes:

  1. 344-foot Sea Dream Luxury Yacht
  2. Fully Trained Helper Monkey
  3. One Three-Wish Genie’s Lamp

“New Signups” Prizes:

  1. Two-Ton Bulk Shipment of Crude Oil
  2. $2,500 Market Leverage Rewards Card
  3. New 300GB iPod Touch

Good luck to everyone who enters. At the end of the challenge, if you generated one of the top-3 amounts in commissions, you win one of the corresponding prizes

Tyler’s Cash Giveaway!

Remember about a month ago when I beat ShoeMoney, John Chow and Zac Johnson in the Market Leverage Cashinator in Las Vegas?

As it turned out, last time around the money was actually for you! I had a lot of entries from people trying to win all those dolla’ dolla’ bills and it definitely boosted my stats overall. On the other hand, it also positively effected the lives of others, which is always a cool thing. So basically, it was a win-win in my book, and I want to thank Market Leverage for that opportunity.

Well Guess What Happened…

I won again! But this time, I’m not going to give out any of the money. Let’s be fair here… I won last time and you got all of my winnings. Do you even know how good John Chow is at collecting money? He is a machine, and I took him down. One thing that I love to do in my spare time is turn my money into single dollar bills and swim around in it. With the Market Leverage Cashinator, I already had the dollars… so it is just that much easier to make myself a nice bath of money!


Last time around, I counted a total of $550… this time I racked in a massive $608 for myself, cha-ching! Thanks again Market Leverage for this awesome harvest. :)

My New Bed, My 50 RSS Subscriber Gift

You know that I have had a tradition of buying myself something nice every time I reach a new milestone on my blog. I remember way back when  I hit 10 RSS subscribers, I bought myself a nice new computer. This time, I’ve smashed through the big 50 RSS reader mark… so I think I deserve something worth a bit more, right? I have actually been waiting for this one a loooonnng time; naturally, I bought my self a multi-thousand dollar bed for my room

I know that you all have nothing better to do then to watch me walk aimlessly around my house describing pointless features of things I see lying around. In the spirit of the moment, here is the part one-of-four video where I show you my new bed. Stay tuned for more, when I go more in-depth into the new bed I bought.

My next milestone is 55 RSS subscribers, when I’ll buy myself something even cooler. You definitely want to stay tuned for that one, you never know what I’ll do next! :mrgreen:

Original TylerCruz “New Bed” Video >>

Disclaimer: This is a spoof post and is not intended to be taken seriously in any way. Tyler Cruz is a good friend, and he blogs at TylerCruz.com… so go drop him a line!